*sigh*

So, I haven't taken my fluoxetine (antidepressant) since last Saturday. I felt like I was doing okay without it, which I thought would be great! Dan often comments on how I am medicated... Not that I take it that personal or anything, but I would like not to have to be dependant on anything.

Today it is really hitting me, I feel down again, not like I want to hurt myself or anything severe like that. I don't know, I guess that it seems too complicated to explain how I feel. I do know that I felt A LOT better while taking it!

I am just curious to know though, are antidepressants a cop out? Are the issues being dealt with by the medication or is the fluoxetine like a band aid, only covering up the wounds?? If that is the case, I would much rather deal with the issues rather than cover them with medication...

Although it is tough living in this state of mind. I am by no means severely depressed or anything. I don't know there is just a negative-ness that lingers over my mind and thoughts.

I am tired, and I am not happy with where things are in my life. I know that God calls us to be content where we are, but I don't feel content! I am not happy with so many aspects of my life right now, sometimes I dread waking up! What should I do? I feel like sometimes I know the answers to my own questions, and I feel good about where things are... then there are times where I feel a little overwhelmed. I am just not sure what to do with these feelings, or where to go from here. Too bad I didn't have boundaries every night! Bev, our boundaries leader, always seems to have great insight into things.

I need to remember this-
1 Timothy 6:
6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 7 After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. 8 So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

I again am convicted, I have enough food and clothing... why do I long for more! I feel my selfish human nature consuming me!