that is what I call an epiphany... And last night Jessica had one at boundaries!
I am not going to go into details about her situtaion at hand but I will give an example. Say you ask your sister to do you a favor, it will only take her a half an hour. She says 'No' for no particular reason and no excuse. And you think 'What!? Why... what is 30 minutes out of your day!?'. Her plain reason is 'I just don't want too'. Do you think that is rude? Personally, I think that most people would view their sister in this case and being mean, or atleast I know that typically that would be my initial reaction...
But, if you think about it this way : Is your 30 mintues more important than her 30 minutes? Is the favor that you are asking of her your responsibility or is it hers? All too often I think that we as people view our wants and needs as more important than everyone elses. Just like people on the road who have Road Rage. Why do we choose to get mad and want people out of our way on the road? Why do we cut them off with the excuse that we need to be somewhere and are running late, we blame them for being in our way? It is sad. Really it is, it all comes down to being responsible for ourselves. It isn't anyones fault but ours that we are running late, so don't blame them! All too often I blame other people for things that I am responsible for, but along with that I am all too often taking responsibility for everyone else as well.
I need to learn how to treat others and myself better, by taking responsibility for my own issues, mistakes and problems not blaming everyone else. I need to stop being a people pleaser, and stop taking responsibility for other peoples feelings. I need to discover who I am, not what other people want me to be.
I am discovering that I love the color red. I love to be spontaneous. I love having people at my house. I love to be social and go out with friends. In my relationship with Dan I chose not to do some of the things that I loved to try and please him. But I felt suffocated. I was suffocating myself, by trying to do what I thought would please him. Isn't that sad? I think that I used to blame him, but now I know full and well that I am to blame for allowing myself to make choices to do what I thought would make him happy, which in turn helped me to resent him.
I am learning the truth, deffinetly slowly, but surely. It is a hard process because there is breaking involved, but I know that it is a good thing. God is allowing me to break only to be built up with a better foundation, a new foundation that will be set in the truth and be set in his will for my life.
Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.