Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Madilynn's 15 Month Shoot

Click HERE to visit CT Ryan Studios and view more pics of her!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Orthostatic Hypotension

So apparently salt IS good for me! No but seriously, the dizziness, faintness and lightheadedness is getting old... and it is irritating. The symptoms worsened about two weeks ago, I can barely go long periods during the day now without feeling the symptoms, and it is a sickening feeling at times - almost like I am coming down with the flu or something. I feel like I am in a haze, I am really woozy, and sluggish!

I went to the Doc on Friday and got some great news - They confirmed that I have Orthostatic Hypotension - which means I am closer to finding something to help these icky symptoms that I have been having. It is more than likely an underlying symptom of something greater. So for now I am waiting on the results...

Friday, July 24, 2009


Love is such a complex word... written too simply!

I hate the complexity of the simple word we call Love, there should be so many more words to describe such a meaningFULL word - that has so many contexts.

I Love God. I love sushi. I love my daughter. I love to travel. I love my Mom. I love the smell of rain. I love music. I love my church. I love my girlfriends

Every single love that I experience is different, why is there only one word for it??

Words for thought

Tomorrow's life is too late. Live today.
-Marcus Valerius Martialis

Thursday, July 23, 2009

My Blogging Purpose: Thinking outloud for all to hear

Everyone loves to be heard, but often we aren't heard, but it still feels good to let it all out - to process it... To Blog!

Thinking out loud - in the sense of writing - has been so freeing, and liberating. According to society and cultural standards saying some things are viewed as being offensive, rude, inappropriate, or disrespectful... The great thing about having my own blog, is that I can say what is on my mind and if anyone has a problem with it they don't have to read it or listen to it - they are entitled to their own opinions and they even have the option of informing me on what their thoughts are by leaving me a comment...

I encourage everyone I know to blog because it has been a great experience for me, and has been very therapeutic - not only that the only thing that we have to offer this world is ourselves, I figure that if this blog touches one person then it was not done in vain, it is then worth all of my time and effort.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Monday, July 20, 2009

A blog for Madi

(click here to link to the new blog)

So I have decided to start a blog solely for Madi - to create memories that will reflect the beauty of her life as she grows, looking back I wish that I would have done this sooner but rather late than never!

Friday, July 17, 2009


I hate to be a Debbie Downer and keep dwelling on the negative, I just honestly want to feel better though...
I have seen so many doctors in the past year - so many that I don't even have enough fingers to count them all, so I gave up. I have been told that I have Addison's Disease, Hypotension, chronic fatigue, extraordinarily low BP, orthostatic hypotension, the simple case of being a 'New Mommy', and so many other little things... Every doctor seems to have their own opinion, and none of them seem overly concerned. When my BP is 80/46 - Last time I went to the doc - they responded, 'Oh, it is good to have low blood pressure.' Really? even if it is constant, even when I was prego it was low, and the funny thing is that I can never get enough salt and that is supposed to raise your bp!
Seriously, I can see how it can be a culmination of things (it doesn't help, with all of the changes that have gone on this past year...) but I am sure that there is a core issue that is not being treated here. Daily dizziness, fatigue, and faintness are no fun, and have to be the result of something that is going on deeper, right?! Can someone just please start taking it seriously, because it is getting irritating!
So, I have taken the liberty of trying to advocate for myself, by seeking a diagnosis- not the best idea, I know, considering I have no medical education - So, I have been looking up my symptoms. All of the issues I deal with really seem symptomatic of Hypotension of some sort...
Anyway, I am going to go and see a pulmonary sleep specialist to see if maybe I have some sleeping problems, because I am so exhausted all of the time, even if I get plenty of sleep, hopefully the sleep study will reveal something!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What is worth more... Cash or Silver?

I had the opportunity to meet with Terry and Darryl, Bev's Daughter and Son in Law. They introduced me to an amazing concept... Working together as a community to attain silver, before the price skyrockets - is the jist of it. I know it may sound rediculous, but after seeing the presentation it made complete sense!

I was a little leary at first, thinking that it may be a pyramid scheme of sorts, but after seeing the presentation I am reassured that joining Silver Mania, is the way to go!

I was able to go to Silver Mania's Website and read up on all of what they have to offer. I discovered some great links to some videos.

I have read some of the Rich Dad Poor Dad series and was completely swept off of my feet by all of the financial knowlege and wisdom that I gained from the books. From the Silver Mania website I linked to a video that Robert Kiyosaki's (the Author of the Rich Dad series) gold and silver investor, Maloney created.

I suggest that you look into it, you have nothing to loose, and a lot to gain. This is going to be life changing!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I may not know how to play, but that Doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the beauty of the music

Justin King - Knock on Wood

With everything in me, I want to do this! For some reason I feel so passionate about music at the moment... and the guitar is amazing, possibilities seem endless with the type of music you can make...

How To Contact Me:

I am reachable via email:

or you can leave a response on one of my posts with all of your information and I will get back to you at my earliest convenience.

Thank you

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Beauty of Grace we are given

"Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."
(p. 185) The Shack

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

People Die Everyday

And it is just a part of life, hopefully when you die you will have left a legacy... not necessarily monetarily speaking, but a legacy of a life lived to the fullest, of a life that was lived giving to others.

So... Michael Jackson died, and his memorial service was today. I am indifferent about the situation, but I am not related to him; Yes, I think he was very talented, and yes, it is sad that he died and he will be missed by many, especially his poor children who lost a Dad. BUT seriously... is all of the hype, obsession, and idolization necessary!? He was only human like all of us, holy cow, it is being so overly publicized, it is ridiculous! I couldn't imagine being the family, and feeling overwhelmed at how publicized his death is!

It is great how when Mother Theresa died it was a humble thing, she was not idolized, but her death was mourned, in an appropriate manner. Something that I just totally think was a "God thing" was that she died a couple of days after Princess Di... it was such a beautiful thing because she wasn't put up on a pedestal, she didn't die in the limelight, which I am sure is what she would have wanted. She lived a selfless life, one that was full of love and sacrifice, and like Michael Jackson, and like you and I, Mother Theresa was only human. She lived a life filled with Love, the Love that God has for his people, and it was such a beautiful thing.

I hope to live a life like Mother Theresa, one that will leave a legacy to many people, I only fear that my own selfishness will get in the way of my legacy left.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I can't walk on water without God

"If you try to live this without me, without the ongoing dialogue of us sharing this journey together, it will be like trying to walk on the water by yourself. You can't! And when you try, however well-intentioned, you're going to sink."
(p. 180) The Shack

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Touchy, BUT Relevant, Topic

Here is a comment to a blog post that I posted quite a few months ago:
-I don't think the media is supporting abortion. I think they are simply acknowledging a woman's right to control her own body. I love babies also, but I love my right to control my uterus even more.

Here is my response:
-I think that one of the problems with abortion is the lack of responsibility. Sex Ed is taught at a very young age so most everyone knows what the possibilities are if they have sex. When you make the decision to have sex you are responsible to face the consequences that come along with it. One of which is when you choose to have sex you have the possibility of becoming pregnant. If you become pregnant, in my opinion, it is then your responsiblility to follow through with those consequences, and I beleive that NO MATTER WHAT a baby is always a good consequence - it may compromise your life or be an inconvenience, but a baby is never a bad thing; regardless of who, what , where and when it happens.

I am not saying that with abortion there should be condemnation or shame on the woman at all! We are human and we all make mistakes, and everyone has their own individual situations. I am not here to judge anyone, I know we all have our own situations. I personally live in Grace, God's Grace. But what I am saying is that I beleive that a life is way more precious than a womans right over her uterous. I do believe that we should have the right over our bodies but I feel as though a life is something that is so much more precious than the choice to terminate a life that is growing inside of you. I understand as well that there are other instances such as rape, incest, and medical issues... and I know that when that is the case I couldn't even imagine how hard of a decision that would be to make. I don't blame any woman who chooses to have an abortion regardless of the situation, I have made so many questionable decisions in my lifetime, who am I to judge? I am sure that when that choice is made it is probably a really tough one.

To state it again, I have been in hard places and have made some bad decisions, so in no way am I judging anyone who gets an abortion. It is just sad to me for both the woman and her unborn baby, because both are drastically affected by the choice to have an abortion in a negative way. I don't believe that abortion is ever the right decision, because like I said before Life is the most precious gift that we can receive. It is not fair for us to take that away from an innocent baby. That is why I whole heartedly beleive that while you are 'sexually active' it is important to be aware of the consequences. Life is more precious than 'Control of our Uterous'.

Have you ever had a baby growing inside of you? Like I said, it changes your life forever…