Saturday, February 28, 2009

In Transition

I love Naomi! Her songs are so profound and meaning-FULL! Listen to this one called 'In Transition', amazing. She is such an awesome person :)

'It is on Christ the Rock I stand Now!!'
-In Transition

I finally figured it out!

How to upload videos from my video camara to, YAY!
So here is a little bit of 'Madilynn's head Bob'
I am so in love with her, it is probably rediculous how much I tell her how fabulous she is!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Madilynn = Entertainment

I love her soo much. She is doing this new thing where she bobs her head back and forth like she is mimicking 'Night at the Roxbury'; it is hilarious! I laugh uncontrollably... pretty much all the time when I am with her!
She is becoming more and more independent, it is almost as if she is no longer a baby. It is so much fun, but I am sort of missing her infancy.

She dances now, it is adorable. She loves listening to music, I swear she is going to be a dancer and a singer, mark my words...

She loves to walk. Although she isn't a pro at walking, she sure is daring. She will take off and end up on the floor, and she doesn't care, even if she does get a bump, she will do it again... my little fearless child, she is!

Very persistent, her personality is flourishing. I am so proud.

As I was rocking her last night I told her that I never imagined that I would have such and amazing, beautiful, and joyous little girl, she way surpassed anything that I could have dreamed.

I feel like becoming a Mom has completely changed every aspect of my life. Like I had screens over my eyes, and now they are removed. As much as I complain about the extra pounds and the stretch marks, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for my little spunky Madilynn!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Preventing Divorce

It should be harder to get married and easier to get a divorce, but in all reality it is vice versa. As Dan and I stood in line in Las Vegas, waiting for our marriage license, we met a couple from Australia who were getting married for the fun of it, 'We are in Vegas... why not??'. Dan and I chuckled, but in all reality marriage is not something to take lightly. I know that now... Too little, too late.

So please, before you commit, take the steps neccessary to prevent a divorce from happening down the road. There are so many resources here is one of them. Premarital counseling is a must and should be mandated. it sure would save a lot of people from a lot of hardship.

Monday, February 23, 2009

We are only responsible for ourselves, and no one else

and We are called to live Honest lives.
I feel so compelled to share these truth's daily with so many people that I care for and Love. It seems like so many people have a hard time seeting boundaries, or they aren't even aware that these are boundaries that need to be set! It is just so sad to me what the majority of us have been brought up to live by. This list of things may sound all too familiar to you, because I know it does me, it was how I lived my life for the past 23 years!!

"I can't tell him the truth because it will make him angry..."
"I don't want to Make her sad..."
"I am scared about what she will think of me..."
"If I tell her then she might not talk to me ever again..."
"I just feel like I can't please everyone..."
"He makes me so mad..."
"If I tell them the truth they might not like me..."

All too often I think that society teaches us that we are responsible for everyone Else's feeling, not our own. Therefore, we live our lives trying to please others and not ourselves, meanwhile we feel confused and torn about the decisions that we 'Should' make in order to make everyone else happy. Truth is: "You are NOT responsible for any one elses emotions, actions, attitudes and so forth." You CANNOT make any one happy, you cannot MAKE anyone sad, it is an individuals choice, not ours to make for them! For example say we buy someone an amazing gift, and we are sooo excited to give it to them because we KNOW that it is going to Make them so happy. Then we give them the gift and their response is no where what we expected it to be, they actually don't even like the gift... and we are disappointed because they didn't meet our expectation that what we did for them was going to "Make" them happy...

What I am getting at is that we only have control over our own Thoughts, feeling, attitudes, and actions.

But what we are called to do is to be "Truthful in Love". Even though we are not responsible for other people we are still responsible to them, and part of that is being kind to them, not mean. When living your life you need to be truthful to yourself and everyone else, because at the end of the day you are living your life for YOU and no one else! Does that make sense??

God calls us to live our lives honestly, not to try and please everyone.
I just remember when I finally grasped this concept, it was so priceless to me, and I had wished that I would have been taught it years ago!! Then I wouldn't have ended up in an unhealthy relationship. It is so freeing that I don't have to try to PLEASE anyone anymore. I have learned that we can't please anyone, it is their choice, and it is out of our control. This is why I Finally made the decision to leave my marriage, because I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought, and started taking care of myself! If someone disapproves of me because I left, oh well, that is their issue, not mine. They didn't have to live my life, they have no idea what I was going through.

So, with all of this in mind, what can YOU do to take care of YOURSELF?? Are you doing something to try to please someone right now? Or are you being dishonest because you are worried about someones reaction??

All of these concepts are outlined in a fabulous book titled, Boundaries. It is a new-york times bestselling book, and it has transformed many peoples lives, mine included. I highly recommend it.

I try to always remind myself to never do anything half-heartedly, my whole heart needs to be in every decision that I make.

I was compelled to write this because I have a Friend who seems to be struggling. And I hope and PRAY that everything works out with her, and that she is able to make good decisions for herself!

Online Photo Album

Technology never ceases to amaze me!
I have created an online photo album, and what is so fabulous about this is that I can share my photos, but what is even better is that if my computer crashes nothing will be lost :)
here is the link to Aspiring To Live Life Photo Album

I am Growing

"Don't go through life, GROW through life."
Eric Butterworth

This is my goal!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Can I visit??

So whom ever is visiting my blog from Atascadero, California... Can I come and visit you?? Pleeease!
I need some warmth and sunshine right about now!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Isn't Debt a bad thing!?

Then why are we going into more debt??
Check it out here, we each individually owe $35,310.80! That is insane. Not a very wise decision, in my opinion...

No Blog for 3 Days.

Was the title of an email that I received today from My Grandma Brady. I love you Grandma!! You are probably my biggest fan, and even if you were my only fan I would still blog for you ;) (I miss you so much, by the way, I can't wait to see you!)

So, I realized a couple things from Grandma's email 1) I really do blog a lot, don't I!? and 2) I have been a really busy girl...

Although I am going on 6 months of being single now, I think that I am much more busy now than I was when I was in a relationship. Nonetheless, I LOVE it!! I feel like such a sponge right now; I am soaking everything up, and growing, figuratively speaking anyway! It is Grrrreat!

There are some bumps along the way of course. Talking to Shirley last night she put it into perspective though. When you are cleaning out the closet, it gets messy before it can really get clean, as you are organizing it all. I am in the messy stage, that is for sure! But I feel optimistic, and I love to clean; During the messy stage is when I am motivated. So here I am staring my mess in the face, and I am determined to clean it all up, with Gods help of course!!

Crown Financial has been amazing so far, I have had so many revelations and we are only going into our 4th week. Last night the topic was seeking Wise Counsel. I am meeting with Jill, a wonderful woman from church, whom I lived with as a teenager. We are meeting on Saturday before our 'Dine with Nine', a dinner of 9 people from the church, it is an annual thing that our church coordinates, a ton of fun... Anyway, we are going to create a budget and a spending plan for me, I am so excited but also desperately afraid all at the same time. BUT I am trusting God, I know that he is going to break through and this will just be another area of growth, among the many that have and still need to take place! Isn't brokenness just a part of our humanness though?? I am constantly reminded that I need to be humble, for it is God's glory that shines in my life, not my own! This will all be testimony to his love in the end.

Grandma, I was really planning on posting tonight... So, here is another blog post for everyone to read. I am so happy to see where I have come in the last 6 months, I am genuinely happy now, and for the first time ever, I am whole-heartedly serving my Creator, and I feel so free to be able to do so.

as I end this post I want to leave this little 'Fortune Cookie' for you to chew on. I challenge you to really take it in and think about it. Are you speaking positive things? Are you doing positive things? Are you hanging out with people who lift you up? If not think about what you can do to make some healthy and positive Changes!

If you say something enough it becomes truth, and if you do something enough it becomes natural, and the people you spend time with help form your character.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Fortune Cookie

We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
— Mother Theresa

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Life is WHAT I make it

how freeing is that!?
It feels great to know that I have choices, and my choices depict my life and what it is going to look like.
I Choose to live a happy and joyful life :)

having fabulous friends help out.

Naomi and I are spending V Day together, she is fabulous! Here is a video of Naomi singing Philo, a song she wrote! Check it out:

Friday, February 13, 2009

100th Post

Can you believe that I made it to 100 posts on my blog already, wow!! I know, it is because I post pretty much everyday, if not a couple times a day... but what can I say, I love blogging!

I just want to say thanks to everyone who has stood by me through all of the ups and downs over the past 100 posts, it really has meant the world to me.

I was inspired by a fellow blogger, Tara, to do something special for my 100th post. I am not sure If I will be able to capture it as well as the original author, Tara, did with her Autobiography in 100 words, but I am going to try.

Rebecca's 100 Word Autobiography

Unplanned pregnancy, Mom wanted me.
Loving Grandparents. Tumultuous times.
Addicted Father, passive Mother.
Mom remarried - Drug addicted Stepfather.
Drug raid, Foster home, Mother in jail.
Life spiraled downward. Hardships galore.
Instability. I Attempted perfection, wanted control.
Mom finally left him.
We were free.
Mother depressed.
Light appeared, Jesus - Glimmer of hope.
Moved to Minnesota. Alone. Depressed.
Found guy. Wanted Stability. Very abusive…finally left.
Broken. Hurt. Rebounded, met another Man. Married. Turned from God again.
Felt imprisoned.
Pregnancy. Struggle. Had a BEAUTIFUL BABY!
Cancer discovered. Marriage failing. Ultimatum, then Divorce.
Starting over, Serving Jesus… Taking one step at a time.

whew, that was tough. But again, therapeutic!
The power of words are amazing.
There is so much more to it than just that, but seriously, 100 words... That is tough, with so much to say. It seems so dark, but yet there have been so many amazing God stories along the way, I have a feeling though that now that I am whole heartedly serving God the rest will all be uphill :) My parents are both amazing, and they have their own story to tell, they are both serving God now, and I have a fabulous relationship with them both...
Like I always say a wonderful family, fabulous friends, and a very supportive Church! I am one blessed girl!
God has been amazing through it all. I am Loved, and I am happy. He has been there every step of the way, and although more often than not I turned to my own understanding, he has stood there, arms open wide, waiting for me to run into his embrace. Now here I am in the arms of my father, and so much healing is taking place, it amazes me! I have learned so much about who I am in these last few months, I feel great, and happy, and I am single and okay, for the first time. No more looking to a guy for stability, now I am looking to God!


Our court pre-trial is set for March 19th...
Madi now has a Guardian Ad Litem.

Oh and on a positive note, because I haven't mentioned it before... April is Having a boy and a girl: Abby and Avery will be their names. She found out the sex's at 13 weeks - technology is amazing! April is looking cute as ever, I want to say she is about 20 weeks prego right now :) Due June 17th, I believe. She has gestational diabetes, so feel free to add her to your prayer list.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A veryy Happy Valentines day

To Tamrah and Cory.

Tamrah Came over for Boundaries and she was the only gal who showed up, so we decided to have some fun with my cricut and make Cory the gift that Tamrah had been planning for Him. I had a fabulous idea to cut a cute box with some adorable personalized tags, all of which were cut from the Tags, Bags, Boxes and More cartridge. We tucked the little 'Coupons' inside the adorable box. They were made especially for Cory from Tamrah.

It turned out fabulous and Tamrah left with a big smile on her face, I was smiling as she left too... What a fabulous Day that I had!
They are planning on spending the day together as a family with their two little guys Avery and Parker. I looove that family, they are amazing :)

(Yes, they are the Photographers who have taken all of the amazing pics of Madi!)

Can You Say...

BENIGN!? Well, I can... The growth was a cyst, the doctor said, 'No Cancer was detected'.
Needless to say I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief, and now I have a smile planted on my face, and I am thanking God with everything in me!!

Yay, I have an awesome God!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A little birthday gift to myself

I decided that one night wouldn't hurt. So i slept with Madi in my bed last night. I so desperately miss my little innocent, dependant baby who used to cuddle with me. She is so independent now, and although I let her be independent, there are times when she still likes to be close and cuddle next to me though they are few and far between. Among those times are when she is sleeping. So last night was fabulous to snuggle up to her all night, although my sleep probably wasn't as quality as usual, leaving me very tired today, it was great, and started off a wonderful birthday!

I am going out with a bunch of my girlfriends from church, who are all so dear to me. I love them so much! They truly bless me so much more than they know. Emarie and Loni were so sweet to set up a little 'Party' for me. We are going to Kincaids in downtown Saint Paul from 4-6pm for apps and drinks, then heading to my place from 6-9pm, I can't wait! I cannot think of another way that I would want to spend my birthday than in the company of great friends and Family, I wish all my friends and Family could come!

Thanks for all of the wonderful wishes everyone.
Much Love

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Here is a picture of the recent growth, before the biopsy. The weirdest thing happened though, two nights ago it partially popped and blood came oozing out... but the same EXACT thing happened to the tumor last year, the one that was cancerous.

The doctor thinks that it may be a cyst, which I am praying is the case. We will find out the results within a week. Thanks for all of the prayers. They are much appreciated.

It is tender in there but relatively speaking considering this is what it looked like about 6 months ago... sorry, I couldn't get it to upload from my cell phone.

I will keep you all updated :)

Friday, February 6, 2009

ENT Specialist

Merrill Biel is my ENT Specialist, click on his name and it will lead you to the link telling you about his reputability! After reading it I felt encouraged.

And here is some great info on Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma. Very consistent with what I am experiencing, the good news is that my last tumor was low grade :)

I have butterflies in my stomach, I will be heading to my appointment shortly.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Aspiring to live this life

Aspire to Inspire….Before You Expire.
Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
And leave the rest to God.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Growing,
But Only God keeps You Going...

My heart sinks

everytime I think about what the possibilities are for the growth in my mouth. It hurts, so I am constantly reminded.

please pray for me

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

a little nervous

... okay maybe not a little, maybe a lot.
Another growth has grown, and I though that it was a festering bone spur. It is so similar to the first tumor, and is painful just like the original one was, I think just because of the pressure that it is putting on the skin of the pallet. It is slightly larger, or at least protrudes more than the original one. I began wondering last week when I noticed that it started to feel like it was growing, and it became painful.

Hopefully it is benign. I keep having all of these thoughts running through my mind... what if they cut out more of my jaw? what if it is cancer? will I need radiation? why, when!?
argh, what in the world!?

I know that God has a plan though...
He is going to be by my side through it all :)

I have an appt with the ENT on Monday afternoon -we will see how it goes.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Should I Forgive?

Acid destroys first the vessel in which it is contained... a forgiving heart makes for a happy person! I am glad that I am a forgiving person, I am much happier for it, and honestly I have no idea where I would be today if I hadn't forgave those who have hurt me.

The real question should be, 'Is it worth it not to forgive?'

“Vengeance is having a videotape planted in your soul that cannot be turned off. It plays the painful scene over and over again inside your mind... And each time it plays you feel the clap of pain again... Forgiving turns off the videotape of pained memory. Forgiving sets you free.”
Lewis B. Smedes

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
Lewis B. Smedes