and We are called to live Honest lives.
I feel so compelled to share these truth's daily with so many people that I care for and Love. It seems like so many people have a hard time seeting boundaries, or they aren't even aware that these are boundaries that need to be set! It is just so sad to me what the majority of us have been brought up to live by. This list of things may sound all too familiar to you, because I know it does me, it was how I lived my life for the past 23 years!!
"I can't tell him the truth because it will make him angry..."
"I don't want to Make her sad..."
"I am scared about what she will think of me..."
"If I tell her then she might not talk to me ever again..."
"I just feel like I can't please everyone..."
"He makes me so mad..."
"If I tell them the truth they might not like me..."
All too often I think that society teaches us that we are responsible for everyone Else's feeling, not our own. Therefore, we live our lives trying to please others and not ourselves, meanwhile we feel confused and torn about the decisions that we 'Should' make in order to make everyone else happy. Truth is: "You are NOT responsible for any one elses emotions, actions, attitudes and so forth." You CANNOT make any one happy, you cannot MAKE anyone sad, it is an individuals choice, not ours to make for them! For example say we buy someone an amazing gift, and we are sooo excited to give it to them because we KNOW that it is going to Make them so happy. Then we give them the gift and their response is no where what we expected it to be, they actually don't even like the gift... and we are disappointed because they didn't meet our expectation that what we did for them was going to "Make" them happy...
What I am getting at is that we only have control over our own Thoughts, feeling, attitudes, and actions.
But what we are called to do is to be "Truthful in Love". Even though we are not responsible for other people we are still responsible to them, and part of that is being kind to them, not mean. When living your life you need to be truthful to yourself and everyone else, because at the end of the day you are living your life for YOU and no one else! Does that make sense??
God calls us to live our lives honestly, not to try and please everyone.
I just remember when I finally grasped this concept, it was so priceless to me, and I had wished that I would have been taught it years ago!! Then I wouldn't have ended up in an unhealthy relationship. It is so freeing that I don't have to try to PLEASE anyone anymore. I have learned that we can't please anyone, it is their choice, and it is out of our control. This is why I Finally made the decision to leave my marriage, because I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought, and started taking care of myself! If someone disapproves of me because I left, oh well, that is their issue, not mine. They didn't have to live my life, they have no idea what I was going through.
So, with all of this in mind, what can YOU do to take care of YOURSELF?? Are you doing something to try to please someone right now? Or are you being dishonest because you are worried about someones reaction??
All of these concepts are outlined in a fabulous book titled, Boundaries. It is a new-york times bestselling book, and it has transformed many peoples lives, mine included. I highly recommend it.
I try to always remind myself to never do anything half-heartedly, my whole heart needs to be in every decision that I make.
I was compelled to write this because I have a Friend who seems to be struggling. And I hope and PRAY that everything works out with her, and that she is able to make good decisions for herself!