Friday, October 30, 2009

Pump that Body!

Whew - I am sore - BUT I feel grrreat! I started working out again. Last night Jenny and I (she is THE official Gym partner!) went to the YMCA in West Saint Paul. It was great, I didn't do too well but I am now addicted. I have decided that I am going to join and now have an actual gym membership again! It has been about a year since I have had a membership, and it is time to join again.

Bodypump was the class that we took last night. Mixing anaerobic and aerobic activity into one, weights and aerobics together - it was challenging and great! It wore me out, but today I have this amazing high from working out last night. I feel so giddy, like a little girl again.

I am excited because unlike anytime, there is a daycare - so I have no excuse not to go now...
Yayy I cannot wait to take another class!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Think Positively

“How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself. So always think positively.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


I felt inspired by the Ex Hot Girl to put it all out there... and I think that it just might be liberating. Holding in these feelings doesn't really do the body good, and I have noticed that what I tend to do is just complain a lot about things when and if I don't process them. So this will be my attempt at processing all of the emotions that I have been having with my image, body and weight.

I have always been someone who has defined myself by my appearance, which is no bueno, I know! And for a while it really worked in my favor... I didn't really know it, but I was pretty Hot (as Jenn, the Ex Hot Girl, would say). I had some minor issues with my appearance, as we all do. I have always wanted to lose a few pounds, but overall I was very content, confident, and comfortable in my own skin (pre-baby of course). Now... well lets just say I am a little more than not content with my body. I just plain feel FAT, unattractive, and uncomfortable in just about everything that I wear - I am definitely not comfortable in my own skin, and of course the stretch marks don't help. You can tell by looking at my Now and Then photos that I am not comfortable, and I often struggle with what to wear to hide my extra pounds - it doesn't work, I know, I have tried :) I am constantly at a struggle with more than just my appearance, I am a perfectionist in everything that I do. It is more than just wanting to be beautiful, I also want to be physically fit so that I can be healthy, run without struggling, and other things of that matter. Really though, I just want to be physically fit so that I can be comfortable in my own skin again. I am constantly aware of my overweight, unfit body and it wears on me.

I have started running. I will be running a 5K on December 5th. It will be interesting to see how I do. Some of my long term goals: Chicago half marathon next September, and eventually a full marathon. I am trying to be more conscious about what I put in my mouth. I love snacks, and since I have had Madi I have this undeniable urge to eat sweets all day - which has not been nice to me, to say the least! I have been skipping the bowl of ice cream before bed at night, and I have been eating less, and am attempting to be aware of my diet. I figure that calorie counting, or being aware of the amount that I consume will be the first step - considering I have been overeating. I notice that I tend to eat when I am experiencing anything emotional whether it is good or bad. I eat to self medicate and I eat to celebrate, but the most important thing that I need to be aware of is that I eat to please my taste buds. What I want and need to start doing is eating nutritious foods, and I need to stop eating for pleasure and for the fulfillment that I get emotionally.

Ultimately my ideal goal would be 125 pounds give or take 5 pounds (preferably the latter ;). This is going to be REALLY hard for me, but I want to write down how much I weight for a couple reasons #1 because I feel like being honest will be very freeing and #2 because I feel like it will motivate me to start dropping the pounds... I weigh 155 pounds now. When I get on the scale I am shocked every time, so I try not to stand on the thing very often, it always gets me down! The most I have EVER weighed was at the end of my pregnancy with Madi, I was a whopping 197!! And it was Very very hard for me to accept and take in, I think that was the epitome of me feeling hideous! Then I lost 67 pounds in 10 weeks, I weighed 130 and felt great! So, I know that I can do it again...

So here is to the start of my journey to becoming healthier, thinner, and hopefully more comfortable in my own skin again ;)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Expectations Exceeded!

Adam and I decided that for his annual vacation we wanted to take a trip to the Black Hills. I was thinking that it would be nice to get away, and of course I wanted to see Mount Rushmore because it is one of America's trademark monuments...

Little did I know that I would be blown away at the Beauty and extravagance of beautiful South Dakota. I was in awe and admiration the whole time soaking in the elegance of true nature!

As we arrived late on Thursday night we went and viewed Rushmore, it was awesome with the lights shining upward at the monument... But when we woke up the next morning we really saw the beauty of all that surrounded us. We spent the next two full days taking it all in and appreciating ever second of it. All the while taking 300+ pictures! I know, I know, a little much BUT I couldn't help it. It was all so amazing. I had to capture the moments. After all, memories last a lifetime! Photos are tangible memories, and they are what I live for!

We stayed at Super 8 in Keystone, SD - the closest that we could get to Rushmore. It was a cute place with very friendly staff. We did so many fabulous things... We started out Friday Morning and toured Mount Rushmore state park, and viewed the monument, it was spectacular to say the least. Later on in the day we went to Bear Country and got to see all of the amazing wildlife, including Bears (yep two feet away from my car - it was crazy), buffalo, elk, and so much more. That night we strolled through Rapid City, Sturgis, Deadwood and back to Rapid city - driving through the canyons, it was amazing! It really gave us a feel for how truly small we are in comparison to Gods wonders. The next day we started out by touring the Rushmore Caves, it is amazing what nature can create. We then headed through some beautiful back roads, canyons and mountains to Hill City. Then we continued on our way through, passing by Crazy Horse Memorial, which was another awesome view. Then we drove through Custer and took a scenic highway that led us to Highway 16. We saw so much wildlife on the way: multiple deer, turkeys, rams, and more! We took the most amazing route ever on 16A back to Keystone. It was Iron Mountain Road. Toward the end of the route we hit the very tip top of the mountain and climbed up the rocks. The views were phenomenal - it was my favorite part of the trip! The mountain overlooked the Black Hillsand gave us an amazing far view of Mount Rushmore, it was breathtaking!! God is so awesome, he created a beautiful place for us, my mind was blown!! We then went into Rapid City for the night, Had a fabulous dinner in downtown. We walked through Art Alley, it was pretty cool to see all of the walls painted and graffitied.
The next day we headed home on the ten hour drive, it was a good time.

I will go back - Keystone was a cute quaint town. I would love to experience it all in the summer when we can do all of the summer festivities like gold panning, taking the train tour, and doing all of the fun outdoor things.

I look forward to heading back again someday... And I look forward to future trips to come!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Another {Awesome} Recipe

Perfect Pumpkin Bread
15 Ounce can of Pumpkin Puree
4 eggs
1 cup of vegetable oil
2/3 cup of water
3 cups of sugar (can be substituted for splenda)
3 1/2 cups of all purpose flour
2 teaspoons of baking soda
2 teaspoons of salt
2 1/2 teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F.
Spray 2 loaf pans.
In a large bowl combine Pumpkin Puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until it is well blended.
In a separate bowl combine flour, salt, baking soda, seasoning.
Make a hole in the center of the flour mix and slowly mix in the Pumpkin mixture. Combine well.
Pour the mixture into the two loaf pans.
Bake for approximately 50 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.
'Tis the season for some yummy comfort food.
I was attempting to make the perfect Pumpkin bread, because Adams Mom, who is out of town, always makes it this time of year. I looked around in search of the perfect recipe. I found a few that looked good. And combined some of the different ideas. I baked two loaves and it was all eaten in a couple of days. Everyone loved it, all of my co-workers included :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
Mother Theresa
For all of those moments that you need an inspiring word, or a lift me up.
For the times when you need to hear the truth, and a good word would do the trick.
For the times when all we need to hear is an encouraging word.
For those times, I asked my Facebook friends to give me some of their favorite quotes - here is what I got:

Rebekah Sfair
“What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.” - Aristotle

Aleksandra Ann
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart.

Trudy Groppoli Baltazar
because where you LIVE should not decide...whether you live or whether you die....Bono

Scott Oakman
"Stand up for justice, stand up for truth; and God will be at your side forever." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

Scott Oakman
...either that, or "It's just a flesh wound".

Patrick Eckstrom
"All that arises eventually goes away," - A Buddhist Monk talking about the only certainty he's learned over the course of the previous 30 years while practicing as a monk.

Sarah Smith
" the oxygen we need is all around us, sometimes we just need to be reminded to breathe."

Sherie Cottrell
This to Shall pass!!!!!
I love this it's so true and has gotten me through so many of life's wonderful challenges :)
said by the guy in the hotel to Julia Roberts in 'My best friends Wedding'

Lauren Elizabeth Schnarr
We cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are

Trudy Groppoli Baltazar
This place is not my permanent home, nor will this be the place where I get all my rewards

Aaron Moser
We will not survive unless we change, yet we cannot change unless we survive.

Rachel Boatman
"Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly. Leave the rest up to God." ~Ronald Reagan

Trudy Groppoli Baltazar
"Laughter is the best medicine" it even blesses the person who makes someone laugh.

Adam Moser
"whats your name?"

Christina Thompson
"Live each day as if it were your last"

Ashley Ashbacher
"Faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and He will get us through it." --Max Lucado

Karolyn Byers
"If the dog wouldn't of stop to take a crap, he would have caught the rabbit" John Boomgaarden

Gayle Nitti
The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It is the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun. -- Napoleon Hill

Katherine Otto
'teachers never stop learning.' katie otto
i also love this one....
'an eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.' Gandhi

Eileen Quittem
My dad: He who eats the fastest gets the mostest! Ha-Ha!

Rachel Boatman
"Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music!" ~Ronald Reagan

Lauren Kriz
''No man is worth your tears and the man that is won't make you cry.''

Katherine Otto
sometimes the hardest things to let go of are the things you don't need

Sarah Eisen
Never cry at night over not being pretty enough. Never tell yourself you'll never be good enough. Because to someone you're everything. To someone you're beautiful. To someone you are the world.

Sarah Eisen
or my favorite: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Amanda Haider
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~Dr. Seuss

Josh Glassing
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

Lucas Stombaugh
"Here's the deal,..."

Myrna Foster
Everything has a purpose in life. :D

Steve Kubes
9 on the break!!!

Emarie Williams Klos
I know I'm late... but I was cleaning! :)"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." - Charles Dickens

Alicia Fry
"It is finished" -Jesus

Rebecca Rosario
'...Whenever troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.' James 1:2-4

I am going to end this post with one of my all time favorite quotes, because I really do believe that Love is the one thing that truly makes this world go round.
'I have decided to stick with Love ♥ Hate is too great a burden to bear.' MLKJ


I have been so stressed and internalizing it all. I haven't been coping well and I think that it is taking a toll on my overall health. I am tired, and emotionally drained, and I feel as though I am sick way more often than I should be. The sickness led me to start investigating... check, check, check - I fit all of the symptoms... Yep, I am stressed!

I have decided that in order to find a better healthy balance I need to make some changes. After thinking about it all I have decided that I want to set some goals. Awareness will be my number one goal because often I am not even aware of what the issues are.

1. Be Aware -
Take a moment each day to see how I am feeling. Spend a little time to daily reflect. Relax.
2. Start caring for myself more -
Make it a habit to do little things throughout the day for myself; indulge in some way whether it be alone time with God, a bath, or going for that much needed run.
3. Start becoming more healthy -
Physically: I am starting to run again, and it feels great, I am signing up for a 5k and will be setting a goal time! I am attempting to eat more consciously, all too often I eat for pleasure and I overindulge.
Spiritually: I really need and want to start turning to God more, and praying... I really feel that this will make all the difference.
Emotionally: I need to slow down and reflect, prioritize, and take care of Me!

I have a feeling that some much needed changes are about to come, and I am excited.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I am caring for myself FIRST so that I am better able to care for others

Putting Yourself First
Daily Self-Care

'We have all heard the instructions of an airline attendant reminding us to put on our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else with theirs. This advice is often cited as a metaphor for self-care because it so accurately expresses why it is important. It seems to say, ironically, that if you can’t take care of yourself for yourself, do it for others. Few situations in our daily lives mimic the wake-up call of an airplane emergency, so it’s easy to keep putting self-care off—easy, that is, until we get sick, overwhelmed, or exhausted, and suddenly don’t have the energy to care for the people who count on us. That’s when we realize we haven’t been getting the oxygen we need to sustain ourselves. We begin to understand that taking care of ourselves is neither selfish nor indulgent; it’s just plain practical.

Putting yourself first means that it may be necessary to say no to someone else in order to say yes to yourself. For many of us, there is always something we feel we could be doing for someone else, and it helps to remember the oxygen metaphor. You can even encourage yourself by saying "I am caring for myself so that I am better able to care for others" or some other mantra that will encourage you. It also helps to remember that self-care doesn’t have to be composed of massively time-consuming acts. In fact, the best prescription for taking care of yourself is probably small, daily rituals; for example, taking one half-hour for yourself at the beginning and end of the day to meditate, journal, or just be. You might also transform the occasional daily shower or bath into a half-hour self-pampering session.

Whatever you decide, making some small gesture where you put yourself first every day will pay off in spades for you and the ones you love. The oxygen you need is all around you; sometimes you just need to be reminded to breathe.'

I was reminded today by my courageous sister that we can lose ourselves while trying to please others or take care of others before we take care of ourselves. People pleasing is something that many people find themselves trapped by. Our society teaches us that selfishness is a bad thing, that we need to put others first. I want to clarify... taking care of yourself first is not a selfish act - it is a vital act. one that is healthy for you and all of your relationships. How are you supposed to take care of someone if you are sick and in need of taking care of yourself first? Often we are not kind to ourselves. When we take care of others and put them first we often build up resentment toward that person... putting strain on the relationship, which in turn hurts everyone involved. Don't ever make a decision out of guilt, or a feeling of obligation. Don't listen to that little people pleasing voice inside that says 'I should do this/that...' Make decisions in your mind and your heart, do what you want and need, not what others want - if you make choices trying to please someone you are not being honest and fair with yourself. I always remind myself to never do anything that will be half-hearted, if my heart is not fully there, then I will say no, just follow what your heart tells you.
Just remember, "I am caring for myself FIRST so that I am better able to care for others." If need be, write this down and remind yourself everyday - it will help you to find balance in your choices and decisions.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Peaceful Serenity

My body is tried, and my mind is cluttered with thoughts... As I live this thing that we call life, I feel exhausted! Maybe it is the lack of sleep or just maybe my list of To-do's. What I would really love at this very moment is to take some time away - for just me and God.

To be swept away in Gods arms and focus on only him and Me - what a thought...

I went for a run last night, and as you all know the weather is cooling outside. As I began my run, I didn't anticipate all that I experienced. The wind blowing through my hair, my body beginning to respond to movement, I felt alive - surrounded by Gods beauty. The trees changing color, the sound of all of the wildlife around me. My mind cleared and as I focused on pushing my body further I felt exhilarated, and I felt Gods presence... It was, for lack of a better word, amazing.

As my run came to an end and I began to approach my house, a part of me didn't want it to end - although my body and lungs were telling me otherwise - I loved the feeling of a peaceful solitude, something that I don't know that I had ever experienced before. Maybe I am growing up and becoming my own, becoming independant or hopefully more confident to be by myself and not have the need to be surrounded by chaos. Alone-ness is underrated!

I look forward to continuing my small beautiful moments with God as Autumn blossoms...