I want to be hospitable!

Every good relationship between two or more people, whether it is friendship, marriage, or community, creates space where strangers can enter and become friends. Good relationships are hospitable. When we enter into a home and feel warmly welcomed, we will soon realise that the love among those who live in that home is what makes that welcome possible.

When there is conflict in the home, the guest is soon forced to choose sides. "Are you for him or for her?" "Do you agree with them or with us?" "Do you like him more than you do me?" These questions prevent true hospitality - that is, an opportunity for the stranger to feel safe and discover his or her own gifts. Hospitality is more than an expression of love for the guest. It is also and foremost an expression of love between the hosts.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey.

I am praying extra hard

Because a girlfreind of mine is falling into the same patterns as I did once upon a time... I have seen how amazing she is, I have seen her heart following and pursuing God, and I have seen God work through her in amazing ways, he has given her great talent. Now she is giving her heart to a man who does not desire Christ. She is compromising who she is and what she stands for, to please her flesh. I am watching her make these choices and I am challenged. I have given 7 years of my life to a man; instead of serving God, I served my husband. Now I am a single Mom, drowning in debt, starting all over from step one, and reaping the consequences of my past choices. I am learning from the wrong decisions that I made, and I don't want her to end up down the same path as me, because it hurts, and it is hard. I have deffinetly chosen to take the rugged detour instead of the paved path that God has laid for me.

Romans 12:1-2 NLT
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Gods will is perfect, not our own. Our own will for our lives will bring Pain, lack of satisfaction and unfulfillment. I have chosen to give my body and whole life to God and I am more happy now than I have ever been in my life. I am discovering his will for me, and so far I am beyond pleased. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin; Instead of living in shame, I live in peace. Now I know that I have finally found fulfillment, in God.

I so desire my freind to turn away from her worldly desires and to give her life back to God. I will continue to pray and if you would say a prayer for her while you are reading this blog post I whole heartedly beleive that it will make a difference.

So ask yourself this question:
Are you living your life for God's purpose?
If not, what can you do to make healthy decisions for your life?

not feeling so hot

I am sick, yet again. Although I was on quite the healthy spree, I haven't been sick for quite some time. But apparently when it hits me, it hits me with a vengeance! Everything is backed up: laundry, dishes, finances, and basically the whole house is a mess. I am exhausted, very fatigued, dizzy, lightheaded, faint, head achy, and have a sinus infection. I am pretty much a train wreck.

So I am sorry I haven't posted, but I haven't had the energy. Once I am feeling better I will be back to my normal self, posting away. But life is way too much work right now to take the time to blog.

Much Love to you all!
Becca

Madi and Mommy

Definetly A Doting Mother

But I cannot help it she is just so cute. Not only that I am very proud walking at 9 months is a huge accomplishment!
Here are her first steps on video.

Confessions of a Shopaholic

The ironic thing was that her name was Rebecca, I don't think I have EVER seen a movie where the main characters name was Rebecca. Anyway... I saw the movie last night with my RHVC (River Heights Vineyard Church) Ladies, it was hilarious! Corny in some places, yes, but it was definetly cute. The movie COMPLETELY hit home. Wow... I cannot help but think that God was trying to deliver a message to me.
So, again I am convicted. But I have been doing much better, with my new budget and all...
If you have seen the movie or read the book, my financial life is in he same condition as hers, although I am up on my bills... but not for long, I do not look forward to my 'Derek Smeath'! LOL...
My prayer is that God would give me grace. I pray that everything goes smoothly, and hat it will all work out :)
PS thanks Tamrah Amanda and Emarie, I had a blast, you ladies are fabulous! Staying up til 2am chatting is always amazing with you.

Life is Beautiful

I am 1 in 6,706,993,152
I am a doting Mother
I am compassionate
and Creative

I love the smell of rain
I love feeling the heat that radiates from the sun
I love when the wind blows
through my hair

I admire a 3 year olds opinion
I admire watching my daughter sleep
I admire the beauty this world holds

I see people hurting people
I see Gods glory thoughout my life
I see a world filled with possibility

I find beauty in the small things
I find that my life is just begining
I find an amazing love from my friends

This life amazes me
This life has so much to offer
This life is Beautiful

we all have a story. What is yours?
link to THIS fabulous site and read about a few experiences of those individuals that we walk by every day

Scrub-a-dub-dub

She is just too cute! She loves taking her baths, every time she gets into the bath tub now she grabs those two toothrushes and plays with them, she prefers them over all of her other toys :)

Does anybody hear her?

Does Anybody Hear Her lyrics

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

Often I feel as though this song was written for me! When it plays on the radio, I pray; I pray for all of the hurt people that are affected by others judgements and criticism. I pray for the ones who are looking for acceptance, the ones who are turning away from Christ looking for love in all the wrong places, I pray over my own life.

Over time I have learned that if someone is going to judge me it is their issue, not mine. It is not about me, it is about them! I used to worry about it until I had this realization... It is sad that they would be so narrow minded, because they don't know what they are missing out on, potential to be Friends with me, potential to learn from my life, and potential to grow, or even potential to help out another child of God. I have a choice, I can let their feelings affect me, but I choose not too, I choose to live for God, not for others!

I have learned to not take it to heart, to ignore the judgements. God is my ONLY judge, so if they want to judge me, that it their issue. I choose not to let them affect me.

I am sorry if you have been hurt, if you have been judged, if you feel broken. No matter what you do God loves you, and he looks upon you with adoration in his eyes. You are his child whom he delights in!

This blog post is dedicated to a dear Friend of mine who has a beautiful son and another on the way. Lord, I pray that your embrace would hold her, heal her wounds. Cleanse her Lord, give her freedom from any bondage. Wipe her tears away! Help her to see herself through your eyes, remove any blinders that she may have on. Give her strength. Remind her that she doesn't have to prove herself, we live under your grace. Comfort her Lord.

Opportunity for Joy?

James 1: 2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

I have to hold onto these words very tightly. I remember as a teenager when I felt down and out, God continually brought this passage to my mind. I am reminded again, and it gives me hope. As I am going through a divorce, becoming a single Mom, and completely relying on myself, I feel overwhelmed at times... but I am reminded of this verse, it is my 'Life Verse' that I have always held close.

I have discovered another area of growth that I have been running from for quite some time! As I joined the Crown Financial Course I knew that I would be facing one of my biggest fears: Finances.

Finances are extremely tight. Jill, an amazingly talented woman at church, came over last night and helped me create a fabulous spending plan (budget). She leads the course and has an amazing life story in regards to how God has blessed her financially. Her methods are great, my income... not so great. So, needless to say, I am on a VERY tight budget. I was only able to fit in $40 for diapers a month, which if I was to be realistic it is really about $60 worth of diapers that Madi uses a month. I will have to dip into my Misc/Entertainment fund for the extra diaper cost (which is budgeted at $25 a week).

This is going to be a huge learning process... $25 a week?! That is ALL I get to do with what I want - my Misc/Entertainment fund - everything else goes to bills and neccessities. My income does not cover my debt, so we are going to see about contacting my debtors to negotiate. I am already behind on quite a few things.

Sometimes consequences are not very fun, but as I always say 'Consequences are our best friends' because I will learn from them, and hopefully not make bad financial decisions like these again.

I have been living very frivolously for my income, using my credit Cards to pay for all of my neccessities, not facing the reality of my financial situation. I have decided to cut them all up! It will be hard, but I know that I will survive without them, things just may be a little tough.

I am struggling, it has been somewhat of a rollercoaster. But I am pushing through. I am going to face this battle with God by my side, cheering me on.

Please say a prayer for me as I embark this new journey.

I was encouraged today when I happened upon this blog. It just so happened to be the Blog Of Note today(Click HERE to link to it).
All things are possible!


Looking back at the 100 some odd posts, I am feeling good about where I am. I feel more stable spiritually and emotionally than when I first began blogging. I am even feeling better health wise. The low dose of steroids that I have been on have really helped boost my immune system, it seems as though that is really doing the trick. Things are deffinetly looking up, I am going in a postive direction and it feels wonderful.

Support SPOHNC!

Although Oral, Head, and Neck cancers only constitute for 5% of diagnosed cancers in the US, there are still 400,000 survivors currently living in the united states that need support. Many are left with life altering issues that affect so many different aspects of life; Here are some examples, just to name a few: eating, speaking, breathing, talking, and smelling.

I consider myself a survivor, and although I have a wonderful support network filled with so many loving people who have given me more than needed support, it is still great to have people's support whom I know have walked in my shoes!

Please visit this website www.spohnc.org and do something to support their cause It doesn't have to be financial support, but I am all for bringing awareness to those around me of the people whose lives are drastically affected by Cancer.

Thanks for your support!
If you want to learn more click HERE

these are the wristbands that can be purchased on spohnc.org, these are the official colors. (Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma = Three stripes - Ivory, Burgundy, Ivory)

In Transition

I love Naomi! Her songs are so profound and meaning-FULL! Listen to this one called 'In Transition', amazing. She is such an awesome person :)



'It is on Christ the Rock I stand Now!!'
-In Transition

I finally figured it out!

How to upload videos from my video camara to Youtube.com, YAY!
So here is a little bit of 'Madilynn's head Bob'
I am so in love with her, it is probably rediculous how much I tell her how fabulous she is!

Madilynn = Entertainment

I love her soo much. She is doing this new thing where she bobs her head back and forth like she is mimicking 'Night at the Roxbury'; it is hilarious! I laugh uncontrollably... pretty much all the time when I am with her!
She is becoming more and more independent, it is almost as if she is no longer a baby. It is so much fun, but I am sort of missing her infancy.

She dances now, it is adorable. She loves listening to music, I swear she is going to be a dancer and a singer, mark my words...

She loves to walk. Although she isn't a pro at walking, she sure is daring. She will take off and end up on the floor, and she doesn't care, even if she does get a bump, she will do it again... my little fearless child, she is!

Very persistent, her personality is flourishing. I am so proud.

As I was rocking her last night I told her that I never imagined that I would have such and amazing, beautiful, and joyous little girl, she way surpassed anything that I could have dreamed.

I feel like becoming a Mom has completely changed every aspect of my life. Like I had screens over my eyes, and now they are removed. As much as I complain about the extra pounds and the stretch marks, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for my little spunky Madilynn!

Preventing Divorce

It should be harder to get married and easier to get a divorce, but in all reality it is vice versa. As Dan and I stood in line in Las Vegas, waiting for our marriage license, we met a couple from Australia who were getting married for the fun of it, 'We are in Vegas... why not??'. Dan and I chuckled, but in all reality marriage is not something to take lightly. I know that now... Too little, too late.

So please, before you commit, take the steps neccessary to prevent a divorce from happening down the road. There are so many resources here is one of them. Premarital counseling is a must and should be mandated. it sure would save a lot of people from a lot of hardship.

We are only responsible for ourselves, and no one else

and We are called to live Honest lives.
I feel so compelled to share these truth's daily with so many people that I care for and Love. It seems like so many people have a hard time seeting boundaries, or they aren't even aware that these are boundaries that need to be set! It is just so sad to me what the majority of us have been brought up to live by. This list of things may sound all too familiar to you, because I know it does me, it was how I lived my life for the past 23 years!!

"I can't tell him the truth because it will make him angry..."
"I don't want to Make her sad..."
"I am scared about what she will think of me..."
"If I tell her then she might not talk to me ever again..."
"I just feel like I can't please everyone..."
"He makes me so mad..."
"If I tell them the truth they might not like me..."

All too often I think that society teaches us that we are responsible for everyone Else's feeling, not our own. Therefore, we live our lives trying to please others and not ourselves, meanwhile we feel confused and torn about the decisions that we 'Should' make in order to make everyone else happy. Truth is: "You are NOT responsible for any one elses emotions, actions, attitudes and so forth." You CANNOT make any one happy, you cannot MAKE anyone sad, it is an individuals choice, not ours to make for them! For example say we buy someone an amazing gift, and we are sooo excited to give it to them because we KNOW that it is going to Make them so happy. Then we give them the gift and their response is no where what we expected it to be, they actually don't even like the gift... and we are disappointed because they didn't meet our expectation that what we did for them was going to "Make" them happy...

What I am getting at is that we only have control over our own Thoughts, feeling, attitudes, and actions.

But what we are called to do is to be "Truthful in Love". Even though we are not responsible for other people we are still responsible to them, and part of that is being kind to them, not mean. When living your life you need to be truthful to yourself and everyone else, because at the end of the day you are living your life for YOU and no one else! Does that make sense??

God calls us to live our lives honestly, not to try and please everyone.
I just remember when I finally grasped this concept, it was so priceless to me, and I had wished that I would have been taught it years ago!! Then I wouldn't have ended up in an unhealthy relationship. It is so freeing that I don't have to try to PLEASE anyone anymore. I have learned that we can't please anyone, it is their choice, and it is out of our control. This is why I Finally made the decision to leave my marriage, because I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought, and started taking care of myself! If someone disapproves of me because I left, oh well, that is their issue, not mine. They didn't have to live my life, they have no idea what I was going through.

So, with all of this in mind, what can YOU do to take care of YOURSELF?? Are you doing something to try to please someone right now? Or are you being dishonest because you are worried about someones reaction??

All of these concepts are outlined in a fabulous book titled, Boundaries. It is a new-york times bestselling book, and it has transformed many peoples lives, mine included. I highly recommend it.

I try to always remind myself to never do anything half-heartedly, my whole heart needs to be in every decision that I make.

I was compelled to write this because I have a Friend who seems to be struggling. And I hope and PRAY that everything works out with her, and that she is able to make good decisions for herself!

Online Photo Album

Technology never ceases to amaze me!
I have created an online photo album, and what is so fabulous about this is that I can share my photos, but what is even better is that if my computer crashes nothing will be lost :)
here is the link to Aspiring To Live Life Photo Album

I am Growing

"Don't go through life, GROW through life."
Eric Butterworth

This is my goal!

Can I visit??

So whom ever is visiting my blog from Atascadero, California... Can I come and visit you?? Pleeease!
I need some warmth and sunshine right about now!

Isn't Debt a bad thing!?

Then why are we going into more debt??
Check it out here, we each individually owe $35,310.80! That is insane. Not a very wise decision, in my opinion...